On "Everlasting Man" by G. K. Chesterton
Chesterton's first analogy of the boy who lives upon the giant and who dreams of finding such a thing by travelling far away, but who then, after travelling comes to realize that he had it all along, this compared to the dichotomy of a Christian in possession of faith to an atheist in possession of knowledge of Christianity, is in my opinion a useful comparison, but his assumption that the former case is inherently of greater property than the latter is, in my opinion, not only naïve but also indicative of a singular mindset that has yet to comprehend true empathy with mutually exclusive paradigms. It seems to me as if he has realized, perhaps by way of inspiration, perhaps by way of unconscious conviction, that the value of a separate paradigm, that of knowledge, of a perspective originating from without the subject, is incontrovertible, and yet even being in possession of such comprehension, he cannot yet bring himself to admit this paradigm as of equal value to his first paradigm of faith, therefore he must phrase his apprehension of it only as the "next best thing." It will remain to be seen in the continuation of his text whether this original problem with his thesis is ever resolved satisfactorily, but at the moment I doubt that such shall be the case, in which case, even should he prove to his own satisfaction his thesis, I foresee that I shall be disappointed with the effort.
Santa Clarita vs. San Antonio
The time has come to deride my current residence in favor of my former habitat.
But first, a few good things about SA:
1: Everything is cheaper. Literally. We are currently living in a two-bedroom apartment about 130% the size of the one we had in SC, with a much more efficient design and a balcony as well, and in a gated community, and we are paying about 58% of what we paid in SC, and we have valet garbage disposal! Groceries are about the same. I estimate that we pay about 60% of what we spent on groceries in SC. Gas is moderately cheaper. The only thing that is about the same price seems to be eating out. That's still pretty expensive.
2: Um... did I mention everything is cheaper? Yes. This is literally basically the only good thing I have to say about SA. Moving on.
A few bad/weird/irritating things about SA:
1: The first thing you would notice--the roads. The design of freeways and even city streets in SA is absolutely and unequivocally retarded. The first thing I noticed was that, unlike in Santa Clarita, roads that have lights on the intersections will randomly and without any good reason intermittently have stop signs at certain intersections instead of lights, on main streets! I flew past a few of those my first couple weeks here. That doesn't happen in SC. In fact, the only time I can think of a road transitioning from lights to stop signs at intersections is when you've pretty much followed it out to the middle of nowhere, and even then you get a sign warning you that this road that had lights at the intersections is about to have a stop sign up ahead. No such thing here. It's retarded. The signs in general here seem to be less informative. The freeways all use the same system for on/off ramps and its one of the dumbest ones there is, where the on-ramp comes up to the freeway and becomes another lane and then immediately that lane becomes an exit-only off-ramp, so people are nearly killing each other trying to switch places in the 50 or so feet they are afforded the opportunity to do so. Retarded. Also, the freeways all have these things called "frontage roads" next to them, which is basically just like having a few extra lanes to the freeway that have stoplights and intersections on them. It is completely illogical. It would make a lot more sense for them just to widen their (tiny) freeways a bit and stick to a normal design for roads.
2: Trucks. Let me explain this to you. In SC we have LA right next to us. Hollywood. OC. etc. There is a certain smell in the air, an aura of affluence. And in SC, nothing says that more than driving around a nice brand new Ferrari or Lamborghini, or an older restored one. When you see a guy in a perfect suit driving around Santa Monica in his 2010 Ferrari with a nice pretty girl in his passenger seat, sunglasses on, smooth hair blowing in the wind, you can sense this idea that "this is what it's all about"--that "this is real living." Now, I actually like that idea. But let me tell you the SA version of that idea, which is something I really don't like at all. Here's the SA version of that idea: "I'm in a truk...duh." Literally. I have seen the most stupid-looking savages driving around these parts in the dirtiest, filthiest, most outrageous trucks you could imagine acting like they owned the world. It makes me want to rip my teeth out.
3: Drunks. Ok. I'm in SC at 4:00 am on a Sunday night and I decide I'd like a nice glass of Black Label to finish off the evening. No problem. I'll just go to the nearest gas station or grocery store and get a bottle. In SA, no way is this happening. Not only do grocery stores not even carry real liquor (just beer and wine), but they don't sell any alcoholic beverages after 11pm and not at all on Sunday. What the fuck? Seriously. An entire state that is so deluded by their supposed religious convictions as to maintain such primitive sanctions. Now, that having been said, here's the real kicker. I lived in SC for almost 7 years. I've lived in SA for about 6 months. I swear to god that I have seen almost twice as many drunk bastards since I came here as I ever saw in SC, and that's including all the time I spent wasted out of my mind in SC. And people here get drunk off of anything they can get their hands on. I saw a guy the other night go through three cases of the shittiest beer I've ever seen. What the hell? And people here don't know how to contain themselves when they're drunk either. Fucking savages. At least in SC most of the drunks I saw were pretty decent drunk. Here, forget it. Every person I have seen drunk here acts like they just crawled out of a cave painting and found their first club.
4: Finally, the one thing I'm actually obliged to mention: the weather. Ok, it really isn't that terrible, I can imagine a lot worse. But I'm admittedly spoiled. Oh. Where are my months on end of perfect sunny days, not a cloud in the sky, 90 degree days and 75 degree nights, with the occasional refreshing breeze of cool ocean wind? Here, it can get up to 90, but you feel like you're confined in a tank full of vaporized sweat, the breeze is hot and unpleasant, and often so strong you can't light a cigarette, and tomorrow it will probably be 38 degrees and rain. You never know.
But first, a few good things about SA:
1: Everything is cheaper. Literally. We are currently living in a two-bedroom apartment about 130% the size of the one we had in SC, with a much more efficient design and a balcony as well, and in a gated community, and we are paying about 58% of what we paid in SC, and we have valet garbage disposal! Groceries are about the same. I estimate that we pay about 60% of what we spent on groceries in SC. Gas is moderately cheaper. The only thing that is about the same price seems to be eating out. That's still pretty expensive.
2: Um... did I mention everything is cheaper? Yes. This is literally basically the only good thing I have to say about SA. Moving on.
A few bad/weird/irritating things about SA:
1: The first thing you would notice--the roads. The design of freeways and even city streets in SA is absolutely and unequivocally retarded. The first thing I noticed was that, unlike in Santa Clarita, roads that have lights on the intersections will randomly and without any good reason intermittently have stop signs at certain intersections instead of lights, on main streets! I flew past a few of those my first couple weeks here. That doesn't happen in SC. In fact, the only time I can think of a road transitioning from lights to stop signs at intersections is when you've pretty much followed it out to the middle of nowhere, and even then you get a sign warning you that this road that had lights at the intersections is about to have a stop sign up ahead. No such thing here. It's retarded. The signs in general here seem to be less informative. The freeways all use the same system for on/off ramps and its one of the dumbest ones there is, where the on-ramp comes up to the freeway and becomes another lane and then immediately that lane becomes an exit-only off-ramp, so people are nearly killing each other trying to switch places in the 50 or so feet they are afforded the opportunity to do so. Retarded. Also, the freeways all have these things called "frontage roads" next to them, which is basically just like having a few extra lanes to the freeway that have stoplights and intersections on them. It is completely illogical. It would make a lot more sense for them just to widen their (tiny) freeways a bit and stick to a normal design for roads.
2: Trucks. Let me explain this to you. In SC we have LA right next to us. Hollywood. OC. etc. There is a certain smell in the air, an aura of affluence. And in SC, nothing says that more than driving around a nice brand new Ferrari or Lamborghini, or an older restored one. When you see a guy in a perfect suit driving around Santa Monica in his 2010 Ferrari with a nice pretty girl in his passenger seat, sunglasses on, smooth hair blowing in the wind, you can sense this idea that "this is what it's all about"--that "this is real living." Now, I actually like that idea. But let me tell you the SA version of that idea, which is something I really don't like at all. Here's the SA version of that idea: "I'm in a truk...duh." Literally. I have seen the most stupid-looking savages driving around these parts in the dirtiest, filthiest, most outrageous trucks you could imagine acting like they owned the world. It makes me want to rip my teeth out.
3: Drunks. Ok. I'm in SC at 4:00 am on a Sunday night and I decide I'd like a nice glass of Black Label to finish off the evening. No problem. I'll just go to the nearest gas station or grocery store and get a bottle. In SA, no way is this happening. Not only do grocery stores not even carry real liquor (just beer and wine), but they don't sell any alcoholic beverages after 11pm and not at all on Sunday. What the fuck? Seriously. An entire state that is so deluded by their supposed religious convictions as to maintain such primitive sanctions. Now, that having been said, here's the real kicker. I lived in SC for almost 7 years. I've lived in SA for about 6 months. I swear to god that I have seen almost twice as many drunk bastards since I came here as I ever saw in SC, and that's including all the time I spent wasted out of my mind in SC. And people here get drunk off of anything they can get their hands on. I saw a guy the other night go through three cases of the shittiest beer I've ever seen. What the hell? And people here don't know how to contain themselves when they're drunk either. Fucking savages. At least in SC most of the drunks I saw were pretty decent drunk. Here, forget it. Every person I have seen drunk here acts like they just crawled out of a cave painting and found their first club.
4: Finally, the one thing I'm actually obliged to mention: the weather. Ok, it really isn't that terrible, I can imagine a lot worse. But I'm admittedly spoiled. Oh. Where are my months on end of perfect sunny days, not a cloud in the sky, 90 degree days and 75 degree nights, with the occasional refreshing breeze of cool ocean wind? Here, it can get up to 90, but you feel like you're confined in a tank full of vaporized sweat, the breeze is hot and unpleasant, and often so strong you can't light a cigarette, and tomorrow it will probably be 38 degrees and rain. You never know.
02/27/2011
Notes from an old journal:
Adam. Not "god"--the transcendent point. Existing in "faith" his knowledge is limited, and yet "complete." Yet, he has the desire to become "more like God." So he rejects faith, in so doing, realizing the paradox of subjectivity and objectivity, and his own infinite shortcoming, that he is not "god."
Either:
"It is good to not desire to become something better." (defense of God)
Or:
"It is evil to command a subject to remain flawed and grant the same subject the moral perception." (defense of man)
If Adam were truly without any moral perception, he would have had no motivation to "sin," for there would be no desire for the state of knowledge, or, to be "like god."
If he is created with moral perception then God's command is flawed, being both "I am the perfection who speaks this command" and "I command you to remain imperfect."
Adam. Not "god"--the transcendent point. Existing in "faith" his knowledge is limited, and yet "complete." Yet, he has the desire to become "more like God." So he rejects faith, in so doing, realizing the paradox of subjectivity and objectivity, and his own infinite shortcoming, that he is not "god."
Either:
"It is good to not desire to become something better." (defense of God)
Or:
"It is evil to command a subject to remain flawed and grant the same subject the moral perception." (defense of man)
If Adam were truly without any moral perception, he would have had no motivation to "sin," for there would be no desire for the state of knowledge, or, to be "like god."
If he is created with moral perception then God's command is flawed, being both "I am the perfection who speaks this command" and "I command you to remain imperfect."
02/26/2011
I was reading some old notes and came across one that I wanted to develop a bit more here. I had been thinking about insanity, and had come to the conclusion that there are three basic types of insanity.
The first is the insanity associated with psychic immaturity. This is not actually insanity at all, but can at times manifest itself in similar fashions. The nature of this psychic state is such that an unusual probability or propensity toward insanity is the case. Usually this is due to a specific deficit in the psychic development, and as such, can only be realized upon exposure to a specific psychic dilemma. If this is the case, the exposure will often catapult the individual into the third tier of insanity, or at least endanger them unto that end. An analogy can be made between this case and a person who has not been vaccinated against a common ailment. The mind is healthy enough until it is met with an affliction that is has no means to combat. What makes this mind different from a healthy mind is that a healthy mind would have already created antibodies, so to speak, to combat the disease. Rarely, this first type of insanity can be a more general probability or propensity toward insanity, in such cases often due to an inherited predisposition, whether it be genetic/neurological or learned behavior. In this case, the individual in question will often regularly exhibit symptoms of the second tier of insanity, often obsessing over the question of whether or not they are "insane" and what specifically is the definition of their mental deficit. An analogy here could be that the mind is similar to a body suffering from an immunodeficiency disorder. The problem is not that the mind is afflicted, but rather that it is afflicted because it lacks the regular means of combating such affliction. An attempt to cure the affliction will only clear the way for other, potentially more serious afflictions. The root issue must be dealt with instead. In either case, this type of insanity is best described as a potential for insanity.
The second type of insanity is that of manifestation. This is a sporadic occurrence characterized by a momentary loss of psychic control. This type of insanity is extremely common and occurs in the vast majority of the population, and is often overlooked as an insignificant event. Circumstantial causalities are often associated with such manifestations, and their actualization is often a signifier of the extent of the individual's potential unto insanity. An increasing rate of these manifestations is often a signifier of a decline in psychic health that could lead to the third type of insanity.
The third type of insanity is affliction. This is a state of constant loss of psychic control, often diagnosed as schizophrenia or delusional disorder. In this state, the psyche has fully succumbed to the psychological disease, and this disease, whatever its nature, often functions as a parasitic organism, a completely independent psychic structure that by merit of its destruction of the healthy psyche increases its own vitality.
The first is the insanity associated with psychic immaturity. This is not actually insanity at all, but can at times manifest itself in similar fashions. The nature of this psychic state is such that an unusual probability or propensity toward insanity is the case. Usually this is due to a specific deficit in the psychic development, and as such, can only be realized upon exposure to a specific psychic dilemma. If this is the case, the exposure will often catapult the individual into the third tier of insanity, or at least endanger them unto that end. An analogy can be made between this case and a person who has not been vaccinated against a common ailment. The mind is healthy enough until it is met with an affliction that is has no means to combat. What makes this mind different from a healthy mind is that a healthy mind would have already created antibodies, so to speak, to combat the disease. Rarely, this first type of insanity can be a more general probability or propensity toward insanity, in such cases often due to an inherited predisposition, whether it be genetic/neurological or learned behavior. In this case, the individual in question will often regularly exhibit symptoms of the second tier of insanity, often obsessing over the question of whether or not they are "insane" and what specifically is the definition of their mental deficit. An analogy here could be that the mind is similar to a body suffering from an immunodeficiency disorder. The problem is not that the mind is afflicted, but rather that it is afflicted because it lacks the regular means of combating such affliction. An attempt to cure the affliction will only clear the way for other, potentially more serious afflictions. The root issue must be dealt with instead. In either case, this type of insanity is best described as a potential for insanity.
The second type of insanity is that of manifestation. This is a sporadic occurrence characterized by a momentary loss of psychic control. This type of insanity is extremely common and occurs in the vast majority of the population, and is often overlooked as an insignificant event. Circumstantial causalities are often associated with such manifestations, and their actualization is often a signifier of the extent of the individual's potential unto insanity. An increasing rate of these manifestations is often a signifier of a decline in psychic health that could lead to the third type of insanity.
The third type of insanity is affliction. This is a state of constant loss of psychic control, often diagnosed as schizophrenia or delusional disorder. In this state, the psyche has fully succumbed to the psychological disease, and this disease, whatever its nature, often functions as a parasitic organism, a completely independent psychic structure that by merit of its destruction of the healthy psyche increases its own vitality.
02/25/2011
I'm not sure if this quote is by Carl Jung or by Anthony Storr paraphrasing Jung, but it struck me:
"Only a genius or a madman could so disentangle himself from the bonds of reality as to see the world as his picture-book."
This is a paradigm that I have long been familiar with. What that makes me I do not know, but I remember that I found the case study the quote was referencing to be quite intriguing.
"Only a genius or a madman could so disentangle himself from the bonds of reality as to see the world as his picture-book."
This is a paradigm that I have long been familiar with. What that makes me I do not know, but I remember that I found the case study the quote was referencing to be quite intriguing.
02/24/2011
A quarter of a century--that is how long I have existed, and, like Milton, I feel that during this time I have largely squandered my potential. However, I would like to believe that this time has not been entirely wasted, for it has served to allow me to become what I am today, a metamorphosis extraordinary, a transition from nothingness, to chaos, to dictated order, to brokenness, to self-imposed order, to individuation, and finally, to freedom.
I feel that here, at this point, I can finally begin to consider accomplishing something with this life that I possess. While my aspirations are too numerous to be practical, yet a specific category has singled itself out as not only within my means to accomplish, and that potentially uniquely, but also as an accomplishment that I would perceive as justifying my existence. That is, the written word.
Toward this end, I have been considering for some time what I must set myself to do, and have at last decided upon the following goals. I present them here not only to enforce this resolution, but also to provide a first glimpse into what may, in a short space of time, begin to occupy the majority of my effort and thus the majority of my posts here.
List (in order of priority):
Assimilation and Transcendence
Format: Non-Fiction Book
Purpose: To present a unifying theory of human autoevolution that operates simultaneously in the fields of sociology, psychology, and philosophy, in order to benefit humanity in generations to come.
BABEL
Format: Sci-Fi Manga
Purpose: To tell by way of parable prophecies of the future of humanity in order to instigate the consideration of problems that future generations will be required to solve.
The Bizarre Community
Format: Non-Fiction Book
Purpose: To instigate a specific evolution of thought that will one day result in the eradication of religious thought.
Autobiography
Format: Non-Fiction Book
Purpose: To give a true, unadulterated, and blatant account of my life experiences.
Time has a way of bringing unexpected change, but at the moment this is the best prediction I can give for the near future of my effort, and I intend fully to devote myself to it.
I feel that here, at this point, I can finally begin to consider accomplishing something with this life that I possess. While my aspirations are too numerous to be practical, yet a specific category has singled itself out as not only within my means to accomplish, and that potentially uniquely, but also as an accomplishment that I would perceive as justifying my existence. That is, the written word.
Toward this end, I have been considering for some time what I must set myself to do, and have at last decided upon the following goals. I present them here not only to enforce this resolution, but also to provide a first glimpse into what may, in a short space of time, begin to occupy the majority of my effort and thus the majority of my posts here.
List (in order of priority):
Assimilation and Transcendence
Format: Non-Fiction Book
Purpose: To present a unifying theory of human autoevolution that operates simultaneously in the fields of sociology, psychology, and philosophy, in order to benefit humanity in generations to come.
BABEL
Format: Sci-Fi Manga
Purpose: To tell by way of parable prophecies of the future of humanity in order to instigate the consideration of problems that future generations will be required to solve.
The Bizarre Community
Format: Non-Fiction Book
Purpose: To instigate a specific evolution of thought that will one day result in the eradication of religious thought.
Autobiography
Format: Non-Fiction Book
Purpose: To give a true, unadulterated, and blatant account of my life experiences.
Time has a way of bringing unexpected change, but at the moment this is the best prediction I can give for the near future of my effort, and I intend fully to devote myself to it.
02/23/2011
She is like a doll.
I see within her an aspect of my Anima. An abandon, a recklessness, a disregard for others, a willful debauchery. A mask perhaps of something, some potential, wonderful truth behind the sham of what others call beauty.
But I doubt that there is anything there at all. Like the doll, she makes us children wish she were alive, real. But she is just a plaything, a toy to be fondled by the foolish. She is the epitome of worthlessness.
But I doubt myself. I am too pessimistic. I assume the worst. Who am I to say what the core of her soul contains? I have no miraculous insight, no unique skill of perception. I think, I should inquire, I should explore, I should endeavor to comprehend. I should attempt to prove one way or the other, what she is.
But I know also what I am. I am not only this elect thing. I am not only this thing of value and of merit. I am not only this thing of substance and truth. Within me there is also what is without her. Within me is a beast, a primal, urging beast. Within me is the sum of all her faults and more. It leers at me as I contemplate myself. It whispers, "I am you." "I would rape, I would plunder, I would coerce and attain by force, I would assert my will with no regard for consequence, if only... if only you would but let me."
I see within her an aspect of my Anima. An abandon, a recklessness, a disregard for others, a willful debauchery. A mask perhaps of something, some potential, wonderful truth behind the sham of what others call beauty.
But I doubt that there is anything there at all. Like the doll, she makes us children wish she were alive, real. But she is just a plaything, a toy to be fondled by the foolish. She is the epitome of worthlessness.
But I doubt myself. I am too pessimistic. I assume the worst. Who am I to say what the core of her soul contains? I have no miraculous insight, no unique skill of perception. I think, I should inquire, I should explore, I should endeavor to comprehend. I should attempt to prove one way or the other, what she is.
But I know also what I am. I am not only this elect thing. I am not only this thing of value and of merit. I am not only this thing of substance and truth. Within me there is also what is without her. Within me is a beast, a primal, urging beast. Within me is the sum of all her faults and more. It leers at me as I contemplate myself. It whispers, "I am you." "I would rape, I would plunder, I would coerce and attain by force, I would assert my will with no regard for consequence, if only... if only you would but let me."
02/22/2011
Notes from an old journal:
Os iusi meditabitur sapientiam
The mouth of the just shall meditate wisdom
Et lingua eius loquetur indicium
And his tongue shall speak judgment
Beatus vin qui suffert tentationem
Blessed is the man who endures temptation
Quoniam cum probatus fuerit
For, once he has been tried
Accipict coronam vitae
He shall receive the crown of life
Kyrie. Ignis divine, eleison
Oh Lord, oh Holy Fire, have mercy
Oh quam sancta, quam serena
Oh how sacred, how serene
Quam benigna, quam amoena
How benevolent, how lovely
Oh castitatis lilium
Oh Lily of Purity
Any authority is rendered null and void insomuch as it demands subordination on the basis of error.
Another morning of cheep sunlight
Falling on forgotten dreams
Another afternoon of careworn hands
Clutching at dying things
I rolled a cigarette out of words
And smoked it to the butt
The devil within you
Is empty words
"More strictly, however, it [murder] denoted secret murder, which in Germanic antiquity was alone regarded as (in the modern sense) a crime, open homicide being considered a private wrong calling for blood-revenge or compensation." -excerpt from OED on 'Murder'
Pages and ink to lock away my hopes and fears and dreams and tears, to relegate these aspects of my humanity to nothingness, to leave me as I in resignation have determined to become, empty and waste.
Passion is the bitch that reason sometimes falls for.
Os iusi meditabitur sapientiam
The mouth of the just shall meditate wisdom
Et lingua eius loquetur indicium
And his tongue shall speak judgment
Beatus vin qui suffert tentationem
Blessed is the man who endures temptation
Quoniam cum probatus fuerit
For, once he has been tried
Accipict coronam vitae
He shall receive the crown of life
Kyrie. Ignis divine, eleison
Oh Lord, oh Holy Fire, have mercy
Oh quam sancta, quam serena
Oh how sacred, how serene
Quam benigna, quam amoena
How benevolent, how lovely
Oh castitatis lilium
Oh Lily of Purity
Any authority is rendered null and void insomuch as it demands subordination on the basis of error.
Another morning of cheep sunlight
Falling on forgotten dreams
Another afternoon of careworn hands
Clutching at dying things
I rolled a cigarette out of words
And smoked it to the butt
The devil within you
Is empty words
"More strictly, however, it [murder] denoted secret murder, which in Germanic antiquity was alone regarded as (in the modern sense) a crime, open homicide being considered a private wrong calling for blood-revenge or compensation." -excerpt from OED on 'Murder'
Pages and ink to lock away my hopes and fears and dreams and tears, to relegate these aspects of my humanity to nothingness, to leave me as I in resignation have determined to become, empty and waste.
Passion is the bitch that reason sometimes falls for.
Reaction to News Story of Mother Unjustly Arrested on Suspicion of Terrorism
Source
In my opinion, the people who did this to her should be publicly executed. This behavior is precisely the kind of behavior that prefaced the Nazi regime of Germany. I’d much rather have a monster in our midst than have us become a monster. When those in authority are free to commit this type of crime and get away with nothing more than a potentially successful lawsuit, what is going to stop them aside from public outrage and retaliation? Just look at the state of Egypt. That’s where we are going if this type of crime is not dealt with swiftly and decisively.
In my opinion, the people who did this to her should be publicly executed. This behavior is precisely the kind of behavior that prefaced the Nazi regime of Germany. I’d much rather have a monster in our midst than have us become a monster. When those in authority are free to commit this type of crime and get away with nothing more than a potentially successful lawsuit, what is going to stop them aside from public outrage and retaliation? Just look at the state of Egypt. That’s where we are going if this type of crime is not dealt with swiftly and decisively.
02/21/2011
I'm having trouble writing. I can look at my outlines and my notes for hours and see in them the potential of communicating the entirety of my thought in this regard, but when I then attempt to assemble it into words and sentences and paragraphs and chapters, it seems to inevitably lose its force and perfection. I need to achieve balance in my writing, balance between technicality and vividness, between elaboration and simplification, between necessary and superfluous. I need also to permit myself to be consumed by this effort. I can feel it approaching, the moment that I will relinquish myself to it entirely. The moment that the wings of inspiration, born aloft by the wind of effort, shall finally carry me into the glorious and surreal heaven of effortless expression.
02/20/2011
Grown within my soul
Is a lone hyacinth
I placed its seed within that certain spring
Where Thetis wrought her partial act
And there it learned innocent pride
Unintended power and unmatched beauty
Constructed within my mind
Is the wall
I placed its bricks on a foundation of bones
And mixed its mortar with my blood
It has no door or window
It cannot be moved
Is a lone hyacinth
I placed its seed within that certain spring
Where Thetis wrought her partial act
And there it learned innocent pride
Unintended power and unmatched beauty
Constructed within my mind
Is the wall
I placed its bricks on a foundation of bones
And mixed its mortar with my blood
It has no door or window
It cannot be moved
Art is Mimesis
I was just reading a post by a friend over at Wordpress about the difficulty involved in the discernment of the origin of art. As I worked on my response, bringing up the concept of empathic recognition due to the expression of an assimilated archetype of the collective unconscious, I realized that I am not entirely content with this paradigm of interpreting the virtue or quality or property of art.
I agree that the mimetic nature of art is potentially best explained by this paradigm, but I also believe that another necessary property of art is that it must not only inspire its author and its perceiver, but also affect within both a change defined as a positive evolution. This is the reason that I would claim that true art must not only be mimetic in nature, it must be prophetic as well.
I was reminded during the construction of this thought of my experience of reading Thus Spake Zarathustra. I am fairly certain of the fact that I have never encountered a work of art as magnificent as this one small collection of parables. I was also reminded of my studies of the Bible, particularly Ezekiel, and of certain portions of the Upanishads. Likewise, some music also seems to carry a prophetic tone to it. I will never forget listening to my former school's orchestra and chorale perform the entirety of Handel's Messiah.
This is simply an observation of the moment, but definitely something I think I should devote more thought to.
I agree that the mimetic nature of art is potentially best explained by this paradigm, but I also believe that another necessary property of art is that it must not only inspire its author and its perceiver, but also affect within both a change defined as a positive evolution. This is the reason that I would claim that true art must not only be mimetic in nature, it must be prophetic as well.
I was reminded during the construction of this thought of my experience of reading Thus Spake Zarathustra. I am fairly certain of the fact that I have never encountered a work of art as magnificent as this one small collection of parables. I was also reminded of my studies of the Bible, particularly Ezekiel, and of certain portions of the Upanishads. Likewise, some music also seems to carry a prophetic tone to it. I will never forget listening to my former school's orchestra and chorale perform the entirety of Handel's Messiah.
This is simply an observation of the moment, but definitely something I think I should devote more thought to.
02/19/2011
Notes from an old journal:
I was sitting in a certain class and a teacher named Doctor Boyd, the most stuck-up little square I've ever met, was saying something about Immanuel Kant, but he accidentally pronounced the last name "cunt," and then immediately froze up, and this girl sitting behind me just cracked up, not too loud, but still very notable in the dead silence of the room.
I have a sudden desire to start a train.
Trying to express ideas with words is like trying to build trees out of lumber.
Twinkle twinkle little star
I know too well just what you are
Up above the world so high
Pompous, rich, and soon to die.
"Man has found in the imaginary reality of heaven where he looked for a superman only the reflection of his own self." - Karl Marx
I'm at a party, bored, and wishing I could leave without being seen.
I was sitting in a certain class and a teacher named Doctor Boyd, the most stuck-up little square I've ever met, was saying something about Immanuel Kant, but he accidentally pronounced the last name "cunt," and then immediately froze up, and this girl sitting behind me just cracked up, not too loud, but still very notable in the dead silence of the room.
I have a sudden desire to start a train.
Trying to express ideas with words is like trying to build trees out of lumber.
Twinkle twinkle little star
I know too well just what you are
Up above the world so high
Pompous, rich, and soon to die.
"Man has found in the imaginary reality of heaven where he looked for a superman only the reflection of his own self." - Karl Marx
I'm at a party, bored, and wishing I could leave without being seen.
02/18/2011
Time to get real.
There are a lot of things that should bother me. Things that I think of, and that in that moment I recognize as something I should feel something about. I should feel angry about this. I should feel insulted by that. I should feel human. And a part of me does, I suppose. But these things, when I look at them, at their pettiness and meaninglessness and transience, I laugh at myself, I reprove myself even, for even considering actually taking action in order to assert my own right to comfort. I am not a person who would do such a thing. People do this kind of thing all the time, I see them, defending like pathetic children their own stupid little agendas. Asserting their own interests over those of others around them, while showing no desire to comprehend or satisfy the interests of those whose compliance they demand. And when they don't get their way, they throw adult tantrums. Subtle, so they think. And thus acceptable. But to me, such things are glaring statements, blazing signal fires.
I make a point to comply with such people's wishes. I comply, and I judge them. This person, these people, they are defined to me by their actions. I do not act as they do, for it is useless. But should I ever take action, the action I would take would be final. It would be an action of accomplishment, not of demonstration. They would probably slander me for such an action, because I would not disguise it as they do. Even more, they would resent me for being effective rather than defective. But they would not know that I would know, myself, what they had done to justify my actions.
I am free in many ways that others are not. My mind is free. I am awake. My eyes are opened. So the sayings go. I am everything that I require of myself to be, and what I am is the beginning form of what I desire to be. But in many other ways I am not free. In many other ways the touch of others has confined me. Others have labeled me. Others have defined me, poorly. Others have assumed that I am like them, and that thus I must live by their conceptions and their rules. This is not the case.
I do not know what I will do about this situation. It is quite possible that I shall do nothing, so long as my own intentions are not hindered by their misconceptions. But should those misconceptions ever threaten my intentions, my imperatives, they will find that I shall be swift and ruthless in the destruction of their folly and the laying aside of their meager restraints.
There are a lot of things that should bother me. Things that I think of, and that in that moment I recognize as something I should feel something about. I should feel angry about this. I should feel insulted by that. I should feel human. And a part of me does, I suppose. But these things, when I look at them, at their pettiness and meaninglessness and transience, I laugh at myself, I reprove myself even, for even considering actually taking action in order to assert my own right to comfort. I am not a person who would do such a thing. People do this kind of thing all the time, I see them, defending like pathetic children their own stupid little agendas. Asserting their own interests over those of others around them, while showing no desire to comprehend or satisfy the interests of those whose compliance they demand. And when they don't get their way, they throw adult tantrums. Subtle, so they think. And thus acceptable. But to me, such things are glaring statements, blazing signal fires.
I make a point to comply with such people's wishes. I comply, and I judge them. This person, these people, they are defined to me by their actions. I do not act as they do, for it is useless. But should I ever take action, the action I would take would be final. It would be an action of accomplishment, not of demonstration. They would probably slander me for such an action, because I would not disguise it as they do. Even more, they would resent me for being effective rather than defective. But they would not know that I would know, myself, what they had done to justify my actions.
I am free in many ways that others are not. My mind is free. I am awake. My eyes are opened. So the sayings go. I am everything that I require of myself to be, and what I am is the beginning form of what I desire to be. But in many other ways I am not free. In many other ways the touch of others has confined me. Others have labeled me. Others have defined me, poorly. Others have assumed that I am like them, and that thus I must live by their conceptions and their rules. This is not the case.
I do not know what I will do about this situation. It is quite possible that I shall do nothing, so long as my own intentions are not hindered by their misconceptions. But should those misconceptions ever threaten my intentions, my imperatives, they will find that I shall be swift and ruthless in the destruction of their folly and the laying aside of their meager restraints.
02/17/2011
More notes from an old journal:
One of my major pet peeves is when pastors use adjectives in the place of adverbs, e.g. "walk worthy," "live godly," etc.
Ataraxia: Stoic, detached, and balanced state of mind. The climax of philosophy.
Janus: Roman god with two faces, facing opposite directions, representing controversy. His temple was kept closed in time of peace, and was opened during time of war.
Dressed in mourning blackness I stand, so primitive, so estranged; beleaguered all the world about me, and taunting the fair ambrosia; together we climb hand in hand to an infinite expanse undestined and indeterminate.
Just do this. Sit in a Starbucks sometime and just watch each and every woman's almost inevitable visit to the restroom; it's hilarious. You can tell if a man can hold his liquor by whether he vomits. You can tell if a woman can hold her coffee by whether or not she has to piss five minutes or less after her first cup.
"Mu"
Neither "yes" nor "no."
The answer supersedes the context within which the question was raised.
Unask the question.
Attain balance.
These days 'gourmet' can mean anything from "just this stupid bottle of wine costs $700, but you bought it so you must be such a great person" to "now your dehydrated noodles also come with a packet of dehydrated vegetables, whoo-hoo."
One of my major pet peeves is when pastors use adjectives in the place of adverbs, e.g. "walk worthy," "live godly," etc.
Ataraxia: Stoic, detached, and balanced state of mind. The climax of philosophy.
Janus: Roman god with two faces, facing opposite directions, representing controversy. His temple was kept closed in time of peace, and was opened during time of war.
Dressed in mourning blackness I stand, so primitive, so estranged; beleaguered all the world about me, and taunting the fair ambrosia; together we climb hand in hand to an infinite expanse undestined and indeterminate.
Just do this. Sit in a Starbucks sometime and just watch each and every woman's almost inevitable visit to the restroom; it's hilarious. You can tell if a man can hold his liquor by whether he vomits. You can tell if a woman can hold her coffee by whether or not she has to piss five minutes or less after her first cup.
"Mu"
Neither "yes" nor "no."
The answer supersedes the context within which the question was raised.
Unask the question.
Attain balance.
These days 'gourmet' can mean anything from "just this stupid bottle of wine costs $700, but you bought it so you must be such a great person" to "now your dehydrated noodles also come with a packet of dehydrated vegetables, whoo-hoo."
On the most fascinating subject of the science of perfumes:
Many may be unaware that there is actually a science to the crafting of a good perfume. What most people use as perfumes today are just synthetic creations of chemists, trying to make something as cheep and smelly as possible. Real perfumery works on the principle that three different levels of scent are necessary to craft a good perfume. These three levels are known as Top Notes, Heart Notes, and Base Notes. A Top Note is a scent that dissipates or evaporates quickly so as to give a certain important but transient hint of scent to the perfume upon its first application. A Heart Note is a scent that defines the uniqueness of the perfume and persists for a duration of a few hours after first application. A Base Note is a scent that supports the quality of the Heart Note(s), and also ensures that the perfume will continue to have a pleasing aroma many hours after its first application. The reason this last point is necessary is that any perfume, a few hours after its first application, will begin to undergo chemical changes due to interaction with the skin and oils secreted by the skin, and exposure to sunlight and air, which, without proper consideration, can alter the scent of the perfume throughout the day to a displeasing effect. Base Notes ensure the chemical stability of the perfume and they ensure a pleasant aroma after any unpreventable chemical changes have occurred.
Many substances used in the crafting of a perfume can be described by different terms depending upon the amount of wax present in their composition. Beginning with the most wax present and progressing to the least, these terms are "butters," "concretes," "absolutes," and "essential oils." There are technically four different types of perfumes according to their aromatic content: Eau de cologne, at 2-3% aromatic content; Eau de toilette, at 5-20% aromatic content; Eau de parfum, at 10-30% aromatic content; and Perfume Extract, at 20-40% aromatic content.
Following are some examples of substances traditionally regarded as important Top, Heart, and Base Notes.
Top Notes:
Heart Notes:
Base Notes:
The art of crafting perfumes is most involved with a combinations of Top, Heart, and Base Notes such that the overall product maintains a pleasing and distinctive aroma throughout its transition through each.
Many substances used in the crafting of a perfume can be described by different terms depending upon the amount of wax present in their composition. Beginning with the most wax present and progressing to the least, these terms are "butters," "concretes," "absolutes," and "essential oils." There are technically four different types of perfumes according to their aromatic content: Eau de cologne, at 2-3% aromatic content; Eau de toilette, at 5-20% aromatic content; Eau de parfum, at 10-30% aromatic content; and Perfume Extract, at 20-40% aromatic content.
Following are some examples of substances traditionally regarded as important Top, Heart, and Base Notes.
Top Notes:
- Citrus
- Ginger
- Iris (roots)
- Juniper berry
- Grapefruit rind
Heart Notes:
- Lavander
- Rose
- Jasmine
- Ylang-ylang tree blossoms
- Fleece
- Violets
- Rosemary
- Cedar
- Sassafras root bark
Base Notes:
- Musk (gland pod from deer or civet)
- Vetiver grass (essential oil)
- Lemon grass
- Palmarosa (grass)
- Ambergris
- Cedar
- Sandalwood
- Rosewood
- Agarwood (essential oil)
- Labdanum resin (good quality is clear)
- Frankincense resin (good quality is clear)
- Myrrh resin (good quality is dark, also, burnt myrrh resin)
- Benzoin resin (also works to slow the evaporation of essential oils)
- Oakmoss (lichen)
- Burnt amber
The art of crafting perfumes is most involved with a combinations of Top, Heart, and Base Notes such that the overall product maintains a pleasing and distinctive aroma throughout its transition through each.
02/16/2011
Random notes from an old journal:
I want to tell the whole world how I feel, but instead I just sit, staring in this empty mirror, and no one will ever know what I see in my own eyes. Like little children, they fiddle at my heart-strings, while the master violinist sits by and refuses to play.
People force-feed geese to make their livers bloat to five times the normal size. Then they kill them to harvest the livers, which they sell as a delicacy. Livers filter out poison. I wonder what the spiritual liver of a force-fed christian looks like. This is the reason chaplains apologize for being cliché and repeatedly, and pathetically, beg us to listen, to pay attention. I would rather go to someone's home and meet with some others and discuss theology and philosophy over cookies and some coffee. Why not make it real? I'm sorry. Is that too much for you to stomach?
So much momentary satisfaction at being trapped in a bigger and better box than the one before. Materialism is meaningless.
There's a sadness to the softness of a slowly slipping friend
When you've lost that mystic something
And what somehow was is somehow at an end
I want to tell the whole world how I feel, but instead I just sit, staring in this empty mirror, and no one will ever know what I see in my own eyes. Like little children, they fiddle at my heart-strings, while the master violinist sits by and refuses to play.
People force-feed geese to make their livers bloat to five times the normal size. Then they kill them to harvest the livers, which they sell as a delicacy. Livers filter out poison. I wonder what the spiritual liver of a force-fed christian looks like. This is the reason chaplains apologize for being cliché and repeatedly, and pathetically, beg us to listen, to pay attention. I would rather go to someone's home and meet with some others and discuss theology and philosophy over cookies and some coffee. Why not make it real? I'm sorry. Is that too much for you to stomach?
So much momentary satisfaction at being trapped in a bigger and better box than the one before. Materialism is meaningless.
There's a sadness to the softness of a slowly slipping friend
When you've lost that mystic something
And what somehow was is somehow at an end
02/15/2011
Yesterday my friend Brad from Arizona was over visiting and he and I talked a bit about psychology and physics.
My own ideas of physics are very much akin to determinism. I was thinking the other day of how I could construct a series of thought experiments and arguments to elucidate some of my ideas. Unfortunately, I really am hampered by a lack of knowledge in these areas. I really with I could just sit down one day with someone who knew a lot about this stuff and go over my ideas with them. Anyway, here's some of what I've thought.
Time is an illusion extant due to our capacity for memory of previous perceptions.
What we consider time is actually nothing more or less than relative motion.
If any system is accelerated to the speed of light in one direction, time within that system ceases to exist, as no relative motion is possible.
Any force applied to a system in order to accelerate it can either accelerate the entire system or cause the system to become unstable and destruct.
All systems are composed of energy and all energy travels at the speed of light.
Any observation apparently contradicting this last statement is only due to the fact that the object being measured is a system in motion at less than the speed of light, as the relative motion of its components demands.
What we know of as inertia is the necessity of a system to adjust the relative motion of its components in order to accommodate a change in the motion of the entire system.
The Heisenberg uncertainty principle is inaccurate as it assumes the only method of measuring a particle's position and velocity is to effect the particle by an application of energy.
A particle's position and velocity could theoretically be known by measuring the effect of that particle's gravitational force upon its surroundings, independent of any application of energy to the particle.
If all systems are composed of energy, the complete destruction of a system into its elementary particles could yield perfect information concerning the composition of the original system, assuming every elementary particle's position and velocity could be measured.
If such measurement could occur, the system in question could theoretically be reassembled in exactly the same form it existed in before its destruction.
Such destruction could theoretically be accomplished by the application of antimatter to an object.
The information required to reconstruct an object's "past" is necessarily contained within that sphere defined by the radius that object's past times the speed of light.
Therefore, the entire history of any object could be known if only the destruction of all contents of such a sphere and the subsequent recording of the remaining elementary particles were affected.
If travel exceeding the speed of light were ever to become possible, it would be theoretically possible to reconstruct the entirety of human history, assuming that sufficient matter existed in the universe to accomplish the record of such history.
My own ideas of physics are very much akin to determinism. I was thinking the other day of how I could construct a series of thought experiments and arguments to elucidate some of my ideas. Unfortunately, I really am hampered by a lack of knowledge in these areas. I really with I could just sit down one day with someone who knew a lot about this stuff and go over my ideas with them. Anyway, here's some of what I've thought.
Time is an illusion extant due to our capacity for memory of previous perceptions.
What we consider time is actually nothing more or less than relative motion.
If any system is accelerated to the speed of light in one direction, time within that system ceases to exist, as no relative motion is possible.
Any force applied to a system in order to accelerate it can either accelerate the entire system or cause the system to become unstable and destruct.
All systems are composed of energy and all energy travels at the speed of light.
Any observation apparently contradicting this last statement is only due to the fact that the object being measured is a system in motion at less than the speed of light, as the relative motion of its components demands.
What we know of as inertia is the necessity of a system to adjust the relative motion of its components in order to accommodate a change in the motion of the entire system.
The Heisenberg uncertainty principle is inaccurate as it assumes the only method of measuring a particle's position and velocity is to effect the particle by an application of energy.
A particle's position and velocity could theoretically be known by measuring the effect of that particle's gravitational force upon its surroundings, independent of any application of energy to the particle.
If all systems are composed of energy, the complete destruction of a system into its elementary particles could yield perfect information concerning the composition of the original system, assuming every elementary particle's position and velocity could be measured.
If such measurement could occur, the system in question could theoretically be reassembled in exactly the same form it existed in before its destruction.
Such destruction could theoretically be accomplished by the application of antimatter to an object.
The information required to reconstruct an object's "past" is necessarily contained within that sphere defined by the radius that object's past times the speed of light.
Therefore, the entire history of any object could be known if only the destruction of all contents of such a sphere and the subsequent recording of the remaining elementary particles were affected.
If travel exceeding the speed of light were ever to become possible, it would be theoretically possible to reconstruct the entirety of human history, assuming that sufficient matter existed in the universe to accomplish the record of such history.
yes
I will write random shit here.
On a side-note, creating a syndicated feed for my blog is a real pain in the ass.
Also, I wish I had more time to do stuff on this site because it currently feels so incomplete.
Random quote by my coworker in housekeeping about my boss at the front desk:
"Yeah that guy, I don't know... he just has the personality of like a freaking banana peel or something..."
lol
On a side-note, creating a syndicated feed for my blog is a real pain in the ass.
Also, I wish I had more time to do stuff on this site because it currently feels so incomplete.
Random quote by my coworker in housekeeping about my boss at the front desk:
"Yeah that guy, I don't know... he just has the personality of like a freaking banana peel or something..."
lol
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